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How Every Business Leader Can Embrace Positive Self-Talk

“I am so stupid…I can’t believe I said that…I’ve let my boss down…I’m not smart enough…I’ll never find what I want…”

Do any of these phrases sound familiar to you?

As business leaders we are pressured to be on our “A” game every minute of the day. Whether we are in a meeting, a conversation, writing an email, or on the phone, we are expected to operate in overdrive.

Do you remember the Energizer Bunny commercial from years ago? I am sure at some point even this energetic little character needed to be recharged! In today’s work environment, we can be overwhelmed with stress if we feel we have made a mistake, or if we face challenges and conflicts that seem to never slow down or go away. Oftentimes, this leads to negative self-talk.

If this is something you wrestle with both professionally and personally, you are not alone. I’m here to tell you in my 30 years in the collections business, I have learned to embrace the power of positive self-talk, and it has helped my business and my team thrive. I wholeheartedly believe I can teach you to do the same.

As a 24-year-old, my friends had all finished college and seemed to have it all together. The year was 1999. It just so happened my mom was selling her debt collection agency as well. Because I had worked in the family business since I was 12, I decided to buy it. I became the youngest debt collection owner in the industry and was so unsure of myself which led to routine negative thoughts.

Over the years, the stressors and negativity in the industry had me on an emotional roller coaster. There came a point where I knew something had to change. The truth is negative words zap energy and trigger the nervous system. I needed my staff to take an empathetic approach to their collections instead of wanting to put on their boxing gloves. I noticed how negative words on both sides put everyone in a state of negative distress.

It wasn’t too long after that I came across a fascinating study that has been one of great debate. The information provided by this study hit a home run in my mind with linking how human emotions can be triggered easily by negative experiences, especially negative words. With 15 years of neuroscience research, I know how the mind works, and I also know that humans are made up mostly of water. Below I have shared a brief synopsis of the study, which I found to be eye-opening.

A Study of The Power of Negativity on Water and Ice

In the 90s, there was a water experiment by a Japanese businessman, author and pseudo-scientist Masaru Emoto. He wrote the book “Hidden Messages in Water,” which was a NY Times best-seller. I found the results of this experiment to be absolutely fascinating, and I think you will too.

In this experiment, Emoto took glasses of water and put them in proximity of music, people speaking, words typed on a page, photos and even videos. Then he decided to freeze the water, and what he found was that when the glasses of water were exposed to positive, uplifting words the crystals of the ice were of beautiful designs. And, on the opposite side of the spectrum, if the water was near hateful words or other negative feelings such as anger, irritability, or frustration, the crystals were not beautiful and appeared clumped together recklessly.

After considering the results of this study, my entire outlook changed. The power of positivity was something that I knew I had to embrace and share with others.

Four Steps To Positive Self Talk

Many of us tell ourselves what we can’t do like “I could never run a marathon,” or “I could never start a business.” I am here to tell you that you can do whatever you set your mind to whether in business or in your personal life. The first step in this battle is to find the courage and the dedication to tell yourself what you can do. I have helped many debt collection owners and other businesses achieve their dreams, and I know you can have the same success.

You may be asking yourself ‘How do I learn to be more positive?’ Here’s what you are going to have to do first. Rewire your thought process and replace it with positive self-talk. You must choose words of empowerment for yourself and for others. Remember the words you choose affects every relationship you have at work or at home. Eliminating the negative talk that goes on inside your brain will not be an easy task. I wholeheartedly believe the power of your words affects you biologically at a cellular level.

Here are some ways you can empower yourself and others

1. Decide to become part of a solution to your challenges

2. Embrace compassion for yourself

3. Swim in a pool of forgiveness

4. Celebrate successes in better connections (at home, work, and play)

You may wonder why I am so confident that you can accomplish whatever you set out to do. For years, I told myself I could never be a writer, and in 2017, I put those words out of sight and out of my mind. Along with the help of Hay House Publishing, I wrote a best-selling personal development book “Conscious Communications.”

Write down your dreams in a journal. I wholeheartedly believe you can achieve your dreams just as I did.

P.S. If you’d like more information on how to change your focus and your beliefs, check out my book “Conscious Communications” at About Mary | Shores Communications | United States (

P.S.S. If you enjoyed this article, you may want to book a call with me today to see how I can help you and your team with personal development.

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