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3 Steps to Avoid Arguments



For years I made mistake after mistake communicating with consumers as I was intent on bringing home a payment in full or at least a substantial payment. I didn’t care enough about the process of getting the payment.


One day I was completely fed up with the intensity of the arguments that were, quite frankly, keeping me up night after night and not helping my bottom line. I threw my hands up in the air and said, ‘I just want the next caller to be happier at the end of the call than they are at the beginning.’ Little did I know at the time that this was the beginning of a complete transformation in the way I, along with my team, would approach collecting going forward. It was no longer enough to just focus on the payment. It was about empathizing and caring for our consumers and what they are going through personally.


Did you know that the Collection Advantage online program trains collectors with an empathetic approach to collecting. If you’re looking for magical results, this simple, yet highly effective, 3-step method can substantially reduce arguments. How would you feel if you were able to reduce arguments with your consumers? How would that affect your bottom line?


Well, I have good news. You can get the results you desire by simply implementing three steps. You can also see employee morale skyrocket in your office.



3 Steps To Fewer Arguments

  1. Validation

  2. Planting a Seed of Happiness

  3. Taking Action

Have you ever told your spouse, best friend, parent, or adult child something that was really bothering you, and they told said you were over-reacting? How did this make you feel? Did you feel like they were trivializing your feelings? I am sure you felt frustrated. Did it turn into an argument? Everyone needs to feel heard and understood.

If you are on a call with a consumer who is trying to express their dissatisfaction, it’s best to hear them out. Even if you don’t agree with what they’re saying, you can still let them know you care about them and that you understand they’re frustrated. When we find someone who understands our feelings, then we can connect with them better. I have studied neuroscience for the past 15 years, and I’ve learnt it’s vital to let someone voice their concerns so that they can process solutions to their problems.


A good validation statement you or your team members can use is ‘I see why this is important to you.’ Such statements are key to better connections. It’s all about getting them emotionally ready to accept your offerings. When the consumer doesn’t feel heard, they have trouble connecting with you and struggle with moving forward in the conversation. In collections, it’s so important to build trust with those we are communicating with, so they start to see you as an ally.


What I keep hearing from my trainees is how impressed they are that a simple little skillset, like validation, can be used immediately not only in their professions but also at home with their friends and family.



A Beautiful Story of Transformation


I recently spoke at a luncheon in Champaign, Ill., and one of the attendees, Liz, has seen remarkable results in acknowledging her children’s needs, and it has truly helped ease tense moments at home.


Liz shared with me a most beautiful and brilliant story. She has two children, a son, age 4, and a daughter, age 7. As those of us who have raised children know, it’s often difficult to keep them from arguing. Liz shared that often her kids would be upset, yell or even storm off when they were arguing.


One day her little boy took her daughter’s box of band-aids that she had received as an Easter gift, and they were of a special design. Her daughter was very upset and wouldn’t let it go. Liz couldn’t figure out why it was such a big deal to her daughter. At work, Liz was seeing success of using the 3-Step Communication Code on her clients. She was seeing them go from exploding with anger to full-on happiness at the end of her calls. So, Liz decided to give the technique a whirl at home, and it worked.


Liz used validation to help soothe her daughter’s frustrations. She told her it was okay to be upset and that her little brother should not have taken her band-aids. She even went a step further and told her that anyone would be upset by that. She told her daughter that she would get her a new box of band-aids or possibly two boxes. That’s when her daughter, said, but ‘those were my Easter gift, and they were Bongo Band-Aids.’ The young mother immediately knew that this was about so much more than just her son taking the band-aids. They were special band-aids. She was also able to include her son in the conversation and ask him if he realized how he made her daughter feel by taking something that wasn’t his. Even at the tender age of 4, her son apologized and hugged his sister. All was well again between her two children.


What a truly amazing story.


Today I wanted to emphasize the importance of validation. If you would like to take the 3-Step Communication Code course so that you can learn more about the value of validation, planting a seed of happiness, and taking the actions you need to reduce tension on calls, visit maryshores.com/online-training TODAY!


Take care and see you next week,

- Mary


P.S. If you like what you are reading, please give us a comment, like or share on any of the social media platforms below.


P.S.S. Also, I have a best-selling book on personal development “Conscious Communications” that is available on Amazon

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