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How to Become Who You Really Are

I know it's easier said than done. But what if, as an experiment, you tried to be happy just by becoming who you really are by living life focusing solely on your own desires.

The truth is life is a series of choices, and the journey can be confusing as we struggle with who we want to be because of the demands and expectations of others. There are also the pressures of what society has led us to think we have to do to be happy. ,

An authentic self is the embodiment of a fully integrated and clearly envisioned sense of identity. I want to help you find your authenticity so that you can lead the life you desire and find happiness in all you do both professionally and personally.

I went through a tough and challenging period where I was conflicted with my work as a debt collection agency owner, and my spiritual desire of enlightenment. My desire to know and understand the universe turned inwardly. How could I be enlightened and run a debt collection agency? I couldn’t give up my business because I had two boys to raise and a household to run.

I struggled with the questions of “How can I pursue an authentic, spiritually driven life and still be a debt collector? How could I merge those two paths? The conflict bothered me. At the time I had been working 20 years and had established a successful business that I loved. It wasn’t until I had an eye-opening, Aha! moment in a conversation with a complete stranger at an Omega Institute spiritual retreat. I couldn’t believe I was sharing my struggle with someone I didn’t know, but I am glad I did.

When I told her of my conflict of work and spirit, she responded with an answer that I was sure to be a joke. She leaned over and said that what I was doing with debt collecting and my company was deeply spiritual. “Carrying debt isn’t just monetary,” she said. “It’s karmic and represents karmic imbalance bringing back our former choices.” She made it clear that by helping my consumers clear up their debt, I was truly helping them.

Just like that, the barrier between these two parts of me dissolved, and a bridge was made, easily and effortlessly. I finally understood - and completely accepted - how my role as a debt collector could be part of the universe’s rebalancing, and how important it would be for me to stay focused in my business while remaining on the path to seek enlightenment. This wasn’t just a way to reconcile my inner conflict, it was a way for me to live more authentically as myself.

I want to share with you how you can reach authenticity in your life as well. The truth is there are obstacles in life no matter what path you are taking. Your journey doesn’t come without obstacles so why not choose to travel on your own personal journey?

How To Get There

You want change, and are seeking a better life, but how do you get there? Initially, you’ll want to make choices that resonate with who you are to live in sync with your true self.

It will take time because you have to shed layer after layer of who you've been pretending to be, layers of the person that you know, deep down, you are not. You're shedding layers of your problems, layers of self-judgment, layers of how others have judged you. You’ll soon get away from feelings of unworthiness and fear. You’ll stop worrying about things that do not help you on your path to authenticity. As you progress, you’ll unload unnecessary responsibilities and layers of beliefs and challenges around you of what other people think you are, or even worse, think you should be.

To move forward, choose a character archetype to guide you. We all have someone we look up to and idolize. Who is this for you? Is it a family member, an actress, an entrepreneur, or maybe a fictional character? Determine your archetype, and you’ll be well on your way to authenticity.

You can move forward by taking action and not just any action, the right action. When you are living authentically you are holding firm in the center of your truth. You cannot be toppled. In that space, you can step into your best ideas, and you will naturally begin to detach from obligations that will knock you out of sync with your biggest desires. It's a ripple effect, but it starts with moving the tiniest pebble of the best version of you from backstage to center stage. At the heart of detaching for what doesn't work for you anymore is a very simple and important question you should ask yourself. What's the worst thing that can happen?

Four Questions To Ask In Finding Your Truth

Consider these Four Incredibly Powerful Questions To Reaching Full Authenticity as you are growing and learning to be who you were truly meant to be in this journey called life:

  1. What do I need to let go of?

  2. What’s unimportant now that I am holding onto?

  3. What am I most skillful and talented at?

  4. How can I step in that direction and turn away from the old?

Remember that your gifts will guide you through the difficulties, and you will meet your challenges with greater strengths and resilience because you know you are moving toward where you want to be.

Are you ready to take your life back? Is it time to make a radical transformation? It worked for me, and I know it will work for you.

Read more about Becoming Who You Really Are in my book “Conscious Communications.” It can be found at

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